On Finding Love

Hi, I'm Ali and I'm a 20 year old, still in shock of no longer being a teenager, obsessed with finding the perfect man. Am I too young to feel my biological love clock ticking? Perhaps. But I have pretty much always been this way.
I was 5 when I first fell in love. We will call him J. He was Asian and I was smitten. We kissed behind the bush and swore we were in love. Taylor Swift would have been jealous.
Next came N, who I noticed in 4th grade and soon after was quickly immersed in his love. We were married shortly after, with clay rings we made in our art class, and then came babies and puppies and a house. Which resembled the playground forest. But all the same.
My first real kiss was when I was about 13. Our families had been friends for ages, he had taught me how to go down the stairs backwards when we were still in diapers and we were both at a curious age. So we decided that kissing each other would be a good idea. It was odd and our arms were pretty much plastered at our sides the whole time. Over the next few days of vacation we slowly got more comfortable and continued our little secret kiss sessions. Oh, and our parents still have no idea to this day. If they knew they would be planning the wedding without hesitation.
I had my first boyfriend my freshman year of high school. He was the new kid who had transferred in at semester and sat smack next to me in my English class. He was taller than me, which I loved, and asked me out on valentines day.  My one and only valentine. But then I got into an avoiding phase and broke up with him. Another strike on the prince charming black board.
My last boyfriend was my junior year of high school. Lord, oh Lord, now you understand that I have been without a fairy Godmother granting me frog princes. Yikes. Anyhow, his name was S and he had curly hair, like me, so I figured it must be love. Not so much. I got awkward and avoided him like homework and basically sabotaged the whole thing. We'll never know if we were destined to have little curly haired babies together, but I'm going to guess not.
Short and sweet that is about how my love life has always been.
It now exists only in my head and through occasional tumblr pictures.
And now that I have had to leave my 'real' university I have pretty much only had contact with married men and those with children who are half my age. I'm not trying to be anyone's mommy here. So now I am in this terrible dilemma. Where do I meet my handsome, tall, manly, bow tie wearing, hunting, baby lovin' perfect man? Looks that rival Luke Bryan also might not hurt.
Maybe I need to wear more seersucker and find myself a 'perfect landing party.' Too bad Vineyard Vines is completely foreign to Washingtonians.
The bars are out of the question since I am not 21 and have no motivation to get myself a fake. Except maybe to find these bow tie sportin' lads.
Anyone know where I can find these fine snow bunnies in May?
A little front porch sittin' never hurt anyone. It really didn't hurt this cutie either. I would snuggle up in that rocking chair with him, sweet tea included in the package.
This one explains itself.
Can you see my dilemma? First off, I live on the complete wrong side of the country and second, I have no idea where to find me my dream boy. Except on tumblr, pinterest and other social media sites. Where do I meet a MAN?!?
If you're a lucky lady and have a beau of your own, spill! How did you two meet? Or how did you meet past dates?
P.S. Wanna be my wing girl? I'm only half joking here.